This Is What Wedding Planners Wish They Could Tell Couples

Today I’m sharing some insider knowledge on what wedding planners wish they could tell couples. Spoiler alert: it’s not a crazy, mind-blowing concept… but it’s 100% true. And often overlooked. Here it is: wedding planning is NOT a piece of cake. Couples often think they can take on the workload that wedding planning entails without fully understanding what that workload looks like. And it almost always leads to a downward spiral of stress, frustration and heartbreak.

Spanish moss couple portraits in Charleston at Legare Waring House with bride in a lace long-sleeve vintage inspired wedding dress and groom in a black tux, styling by Willow and Oak Events and photography by Kylee Yee

The thing is, it’s not a matter of capability, but but of time. On average, we spend about 400 hours planning + designing weddings each of our couples. It’s why we only work with 8-10 clients each year! The truth is, if you have a full-time job, you probably don’t want to spend your engagement season tacking on another full-time job. Imagine it! Working 80 hours/week in addition to maintaining regular date nights and attending parties + showers in your honor throughout the year! Though to be fully transparent, you will probably spend more than 400 hours working on your own wedding when you consider the extra time it will take you to learn the terminologies and general tricks of the trade, but also to understand the in’s and outs’ of wedding production + logistics (hello, lighting needs and tenting schematics!).

peach, sage and mustard velvet ring boxes with a halo engagement ring surrounded by pastel sugar flowers at a Charleston wedding, with flatlay styling by Willow and Oak Events and photography by Kylee Yee

Much of our job looks like venue visits, vendor meetings, budget planning, timeline building (and iterating and iterating), floorpan structuring, contract reviewing, creative brainstorming, fabric + product ordering and beyond. We’re looking at power sources, generators, tent sizes + staking spots, lighting levels, mosquito control, potential liabilities, additional restroom needs… you get the gist! There’s a lot more to it than following a generic checklist from the internet. When planning a wedding is uncharted territory, it’s probably something better left to the pros. Your time is your most valuable commodity, especially during this season, and too many couples have to learn the hard way what it means to be spread too thin. 

Early spring wedding in Charleston, SC at Legare Waring House with bride in a beaded lace, long-sleeve, vintage inspired wedding dress holding a petite bridal bouquet with Icelandic poppies and sweet pea, styling by Willow and Oak Events and photography by Kylee Yee

The best thing you can do at the beginning of the planning process is hire a team of wedding vendors that you can trust 100%. Not only will they alleviate you of the time-consuming tasks and stress that comes with trying to do it all, their seasoned experience and know-how will make your entire wedding planning process + celebration on the day seamless, joyous and unforgettable in all the right ways. 

Miniature naked cake topped with a sugar flower at an intimate Charleston wedding dinner at Parcel 32, with Icelandic poppy ikebana centerpieces, speckled dinnerware, handwritten manus, vintage jacquard ribbon and soft candlelight; styling by Willow and Oak Events with photography by Kylee Yee

Of course, I’m not saying this so that you hire us (though it’d be pretty cool if we did get to work together!). I’m saying this because it breaks our hearts every time we see couples burn out from the stress of it all and end up miserable along the way… just ready for it all to be over. A wedding can and should be about happiness every step of the way! So if we can offer one piece of advice at all, it would be to hire a wedding planner you have full confidence in to bring your vision to life. Not only will they alleviate you of the time-consuming tasks and stress that comes with trying to do it all, their seasoned experience and know-how will make your entire wedding planning process + celebration on the day seamless, joyous and unforgettable in all the right ways. 

Spanish moss couple portraits in Charleston at Legare Waring House with bride in a lace long-sleeve vintage inspired wedding dress and groom in a black tux, styling by Willow and Oak Events and photography by Kylee Yee

No matter who you choose, let it be someone you get along with and can have open communication with so you know that you’re being heard and held every step of the way. Starting off with a strong foundation in this arena will set the stage for everything to follow. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 😉 

Check out more wedding planning mistakes to avoid here next!

Til we meet again! 

Xx,
Haley

All images by Kylee Yee Photography with planning + design by Willow & Oak Events // see more images from this wedding and the full vendor team here

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